Damn. I missed the ubiquitous New Years blog!

Alas, I must say I've become more and more of an introvert though. I stayed in for NYE, dismissing invites to parties or the like. I enjoy parties, don't get me wrong, but I don't know, I have an unsettling feeling to go out to celebrate without the Significant Other. I feel like I would be "cheating" to be out celebrating. Silly, I know. But voila. 

 This year, this brand new year, I would like to see a bit more happiness. A bit more growth in myself, and a better understanding of myself.

I do have one small accomplishment that I'd like to boast (especially because I worked for it through sweat and tears): I finished my first week of the P90X workout program!!! AH! RELIEF!!! Now that I survived (believe me, I'm still sore from all the workouts), I feel just a bit healthier, mostly because I think I can balance life and and 1-1.5 hours of crazy workouts. It's not much, but I lost 4 lbs too! Nice! I think that's mostly a combination of the insane workouts & the fact that I've cut out junk food and soda.

And with that, I'm off to Trader Joe's to stock up on healthier snacks for my first day back in the office for 2011. I vow to no longer stand hoard all the Godiva chocolate, nor will I be dipping crackers into delicious cheese as a morning snack (I know, I know...).

Bring it 2011!!!

After a very relaxing and very open conversation with a close friend of mine for lunch, I am left with a lot of thoughts that are still lingering in my mind.

We spoke about life, family, love, sex, money, and careers. Pretty much a quick synopsis of ourselves and what we're going to do next. I used to think 20s were very young, but halfway through the conversation, I realized that I REALLY don't have that much time before retirement comes my way. 60 is the hopefuly number I am aiming for, but that's only 35 years away!!! 35 years is not that much time!!! I'm in that state in life where I still feel like fresh blood out of university (I graduated in 2008 and began working immediately thereafter). I luckily was employed throughout this whole economical downturn (which I very thankful for) but I am unsure as to what my next steps are in life. Who am I supposed to be? Something in the creative industry for sure, but what exactly??? I thought I would be more certain of myself by this time in life, but it's obviously not the case.

I still have certain goals I am working towards, but I am unsure of what state I will be in when I retire. Will I own the house I want to retire in? Will I be able to operate a vehicle? Will I have the "things" I want in life? Will I be happy?

That last question carries a lot of weight in my mind. I don't know. I really don't know what I must do now and achieve in order to look back and be happy with my life.

I think I'm having my quarter-life crisis. I SERIOUSLY thought it was a joke for anyone to have a quarter-life crisis because I thought that was too young and early to freak out. But here it is. Live in the flesh. In me.

Maybe it's just the rain and the gloomy nature. But there it is. I feel lost. At sea. Just floating up and down with the ebb and flow. I need direction!!!

So GQ says suspenders are back for the season. I like the look when it's done casually (NOT with business attire...ew), but I feel fashion-retarded that I don't have any in my arsenal and I don't want to go shopping for one because then I'm totally following trends. Okay, that's obviously not the biggest worry in my life, but it's the only share-able one. Haha.

I also want boat shoes. I NEVER liked them before but I'm becoming more and more drawn to them. I recently went to a dinner with a friend, and her boyfriend was just rockin' the look so nicely. He had navy boat shoes, skinny Marc Jacobs jeans, and a turquoise Marc Jacobs polo. I felt like a mess. I had my fat jeans on (Levi's Captial E's), black Hugo Boss polo, and extremely worn out Gucci sneakers (they're so worn out...there's a hole in the right sole, but I love them too much to throw them out). I felt trumped by this straight man. I caused shame to my people. Haha.

And it doesn't help that I'm not even shopping. Not spending money has become a lifestyle. I am so frugal, I even shock myself these days. But it's all for the better. Better mind, better soul, and hopefully a better and bigger number in the savings account. :o) I'd like to retire early, s'il vous plait!