Alas, I must say I've become more and more of an introvert though. I stayed in for NYE, dismissing invites to parties or the like. I enjoy parties, don't get me wrong, but I don't know, I have an unsettling feeling to go out to celebrate without the Significant Other. I feel like I would be "cheating" to be out celebrating. Silly, I know. But voila.
This year, this brand new year, I would like to see a bit more happiness. A bit more growth in myself, and a better understanding of myself.
I do have one small accomplishment that I'd like to boast (especially because I worked for it through sweat and tears): I finished my first week of the P90X workout program!!! AH! RELIEF!!! Now that I survived (believe me, I'm still sore from all the workouts), I feel just a bit healthier, mostly because I think I can balance life and and 1-1.5 hours of crazy workouts. It's not much, but I lost 4 lbs too! Nice! I think that's mostly a combination of the insane workouts & the fact that I've cut out junk food and soda.
And with that, I'm off to Trader Joe's to stock up on healthier snacks for my first day back in the office for 2011. I vow to no longer stand hoard all the Godiva chocolate, nor will I be dipping crackers into delicious cheese as a morning snack (I know, I know...).
This is the first time in my life (post junior year of high school) in which I have taken a whole week off from Christmas to New Year's. It's so odd that I can simply relax at home and attend to things without having to work around office hours. I can get used to this!!!
But it's going by much too quickly. It's odd that the weekend is practically over. My accomplishments include almost completing my Super Mario Bros. Wii game, cleaning up my room (somewhat), working out everyday, and completing things that were very low priority on my to-do list. Now that the week is almost over, I feel like I should have done more. I should have listened to more French, Japanese and Mandarin lessons. Speaking of which, I'm noticing that more and more Korean entertainers are picking up other languages. I feel the need to pick up a few as well. Europeans tend to speak an average of 4 languages, and if Asia follows, where does that leave most of the Americans who barely have a hold of the english language???
So yes. I have a French Grammar Drills book that I need to crack open. But maybe not tonight. :o) I am happily off to dinner with my old friends from university. I haven't seen them in a year, so there will be a lot of catching up to do. Very exciting. :o)
After a very relaxing and very open conversation with a close friend of mine for lunch, I am left with a lot of thoughts that are still lingering in my mind.
We spoke about life, family, love, sex, money, and careers. Pretty much a quick synopsis of ourselves and what we're going to do next. I used to think 20s were very young, but halfway through the conversation, I realized that I REALLY don't have that much time before retirement comes my way. 60 is the hopefuly number I am aiming for, but that's only 35 years away!!! 35 years is not that much time!!! I'm in that state in life where I still feel like fresh blood out of university (I graduated in 2008 and began working immediately thereafter). I luckily was employed throughout this whole economical downturn (which I very thankful for) but I am unsure as to what my next steps are in life. Who am I supposed to be? Something in the creative industry for sure, but what exactly??? I thought I would be more certain of myself by this time in life, but it's obviously not the case.
I still have certain goals I am working towards, but I am unsure of what state I will be in when I retire. Will I own the house I want to retire in? Will I be able to operate a vehicle? Will I have the "things" I want in life? Will I be happy?
That last question carries a lot of weight in my mind. I don't know. I really don't know what I must do now and achieve in order to look back and be happy with my life.
I think I'm having my quarter-life crisis. I SERIOUSLY thought it was a joke for anyone to have a quarter-life crisis because I thought that was too young and early to freak out. But here it is. Live in the flesh. In me.
Maybe it's just the rain and the gloomy nature. But there it is. I feel lost. At sea. Just floating up and down with the ebb and flow. I need direction!!!
Okay, the Title of this post was based one a conversation at work, in which we were going over funny holiday card options we should do for the company. The other options were derivatives of the above, simply substituting "asshole" or "motherf*cker" in place of bitches. It made for good laughs.
Anyway, so I decided to take a walk yesterday morning because I was focusing on how to get back into a workout frenzy. So to clear my mind and get my blood flowing, I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood. I ventured along this path before, but never finished it. I went with my sister before, but I decided to go on my own this time.
The walk involves walking through my neighborhood market area, and then into the hills (I live on the edge of my city that is adjacent to un-touched hills). The walk started off nicely with the nice views of virgin land and vegetation that is no longer plentiful in our city. It felt nice thinking I was out in nature, with no one else around. Well, the area will eventually be developed by 2012 unfortunately, into a rather expensive community. Apparently it's going to be the "Beverly Hills" of Irvine (the community is named Orchard Hills). Bleh.
Anyway, so I thought I enjoyed being outdoors, that is, until all the whizzing sounds started to freak me out. Bees. There were lots of bees in the little yellow flowers all around me. So I ran. I just ran. Clutching my camera and my phone in one hand, and my keys in my left. I was panting and barely made it a few paces when I realized I was out of breath. Then there were black crows everywhere. Why didn't I notice these flying creatures of death before? Anyway, more running ensued. And then I saw a building and thought that was odd. Apparently they built a highschool out here. A really nice one it turns out. UGH. Apparently I even came to this school for a wind ensemble concert I was in. UGH. My memory is failing, and I can't believe I thought I was outdoors, when it turns out I was simply on the outskirts of an up and coming neighborhood/high school. FAIL.
Today, I'm off to stock up on healthy food for once. Off to Trader Joe's and Costco. Then I need to get a yoga mat. Sigh. I'm starting a workout today and I'm scared that I'm going to be physically drained by the end of the day. This is supposed to be a workout for 90 days! Yikes. But I'm going to try! Alright, farewell to all in xangaland (for the day, that is). :o)
Oh, below are pics from the walk:
My little walking path...of death. I think this is before I started running for my life.
Doesn't it just look nice? I feel like I can take a picture in front of this and say no, I'm not in the OC.
Wet plants fresh from the crazy rain we've been having in southern California.
These were the bees' victims...does that make them a "bottom"?
The stupid high school that ruined my connection with nature.
This last picture is just a reminder that just because Irvine is a master-planned city, doesn't mean that they don't miss obvious things...FAIL!
So GQ says suspenders are back for the season. I like the look when it's done casually (NOT with business attire...ew), but I feel fashion-retarded that I don't have any in my arsenal and I don't want to go shopping for one because then I'm totally following trends. Okay, that's obviously not the biggest worry in my life, but it's the only share-able one. Haha.
I also want boat shoes. I NEVER liked them before but I'm becoming more and more drawn to them. I recently went to a dinner with a friend, and her boyfriend was just rockin' the look so nicely. He had navy boat shoes, skinny Marc Jacobs jeans, and a turquoise Marc Jacobs polo. I felt like a mess. I had my fat jeans on (Levi's Captial E's), black Hugo Boss polo, and extremely worn out Gucci sneakers (they're so worn out...there's a hole in the right sole, but I love them too much to throw them out). I felt trumped by this straight man. I caused shame to my people. Haha.
And it doesn't help that I'm not even shopping. Not spending money has become a lifestyle. I am so frugal, I even shock myself these days. But it's all for the better. Better mind, better soul, and hopefully a better and bigger number in the savings account. :o) I'd like to retire early, s'il vous plait!